The Turkey
by NoEarlyBird
Summary: "Did someone just say 'gutting?" A little tale about the Blitzkrieg Boys' attempt to prepare a Christmas turkey and the challenges they are faced with.


Disclaimer: I don't own Beyblade

* * *

 **The Turkey**

* * *

" _Preheat the oven to 160 degrees_ ," Tala read out loud. "Okay, that one's easy."  
He switched on the oven, set the heat accordingly and continued to read, " _Ensure your knifes are sufficiently sharpened_ -..." He lowered the book and muttered to himself, "If there is one thing we have in this kitchen it is sharp knives."  
He continued to read, "... _before severing the turkey's neck and removing the giblets from the cavity_. Ugh, fuck no, I'm not doing that!"  
Tala put the book down on the countertop. He then stuck his head out the kitchen door and yelled, "Yo Spencer! Drag your big butt in here, will ya?"  
Moments later Spencer walked in.  
He frowned at Tala and asked, "To what do I owe the honor of this most charming summon, Captain?"  
Tala nodded towards the big turkey sitting on the kitchen table.  
"It was your idea to make Christmas dinner. You go ahead and gut this thing."  
Spencer defensively raised both his hands and took a step backwards.  
"Whoa whoa no one ever said you should buy one that still had all his natural stuffings!"  
"First, it wasn't me who bought it - Kai did - and second, just fucking do it."  
"Nu-uh. Kai bought it, Kai can do it."  
"Kai disappeared about an hour ago saying something about buying cigarettes."  
"Kai doesn't smoke."  
"I know."  
"So he ditched us."  
"Fuckin did."  
"Well, whatever, I am not gutting a freakin turkey."  
Bryan peeked through the door and asked, his voice trembling with excitement, "Did someone just say 'gutting'?"  
Spencer frowned and pointed his thumb at Bryan.  
"We are living with Bryan and yet I am your first choice in the matter of turkey-gutting? I'm offended Tala!"  
Tala pinched the bridge of his nose.  
"Obvious why, isn't it. That guy's freakish excitement gives me the chills."  
Bryan didn't seem too bothered by Tala's words. No, he really didn't seem bothered at all.  
He shoved Spencer out of his way and chirped, "Step aside, Ladies and let me show you how it's done."  
"Oh god I don't think I can stomach watching this," Spencer mumbled and averted his eyes.  
Tala let out a low growl. He wanted nothing more than to follow Spencer's example. He hadn't been kidding when he'd said Bryan's excitement about this kind of thing gave him the chills. But he was team captain of the Blitzkrieg Boys, for fuck's sake. He had a reputation to uphold! He wouldn't risk word spreading that the team captain of the Blitzkrieg Boys was a sissy! So Tala, teeth gnashing, watched Bryan roll up his sleeves.  
"The recipe says to use knife," he pointed out.  
"The recipe doesn't know shit," Bryan replied and reached for the turkey.  
"Fine, do it your way. But Bryan, we intend to eat that later, so could you at least wash your hands?"  
Bryan rolled his eyes, mumbled something undoubtedly rude, but strolled over to the sink to wash his hands.  
"Just out of curiosity... Have you gutted a turkey before Bryan?" Tala asked.  
Rinsing off the last bit of soap Bryan shrugged and casually replied, "Not a turkey, no."  
Spencer shivered and accusingly looked at Tala.  
"Are you mad? This is _Bryan_ you are talking to – don't ask him stuff like this."  
"I was just wondering."  
"You gotta be out of your mind. No one in their right mind would ask Bryan a question like that."

"He goes about it quite professionally."

"Completely unnecessary to point that out."  
They were interrupted by Bryan saying, "Okay, we've got a liver here, the gut, a heart and some other stuff. Do you need any of these, Captain?"  
That was too much. Spencer turned a light shade of green and mumbled, "Be right back!" before disappearing into the hallway.  
Tala scrunched his nose. The sight of all the turkey's giblets in Bryan's hands really wasn't the most pretty...

He checked the recipe again and said, "It says to ditch the liver and save the rest for the gravy."  
Tala shoved a large bowl in Bryan's direction.  
"You can put them in there."  
Bryan did.  
He then pointed at the turkey and asked, "What me to chop off the neck?"  
Tala handed him a knife.  
"Try not to enjoy it too much," he said.  
Bryan took the knife, turned around and with a battle cry brought the knife down.  
Tala rolled his eyes up to the ceiling and spent a moment cursing Kai for buying a turkey that wasn't already gutted. Had Kai done it on purpose? Had he, Tala, recently done something to piss Kai off? Not that he recalled, but things like this were always hard to tell with Kai. Well, on purpose or not, at least this unpleasant episode of turkey-gutting was over now.  
He cleared his voice and said, "Err, thanks Bryan. I can take it from here."  
Bryan gave him a thumbs-up. He was already half through the door when Tala called after him, "You do know you have gore up to your elbow, don't you?"  
...Either Bryan had replied in a very low voice, or he'd flat out ignored him. Probably the latter. Tala rolled his eyes. He just hoped Bryan wouldn't leave blood stains throughout the house - Spencer wasn't too good with that kind of thing. But no time to worry about that now, he had a turkey to cook.  
Tala picked up the cookbook and read, " _Season the turkey inside and out with salt and pepper. Then fill turkey with herbs and chopped carrots, onions and apples._ "  
He glanced at the impressive pile of fruits and vegetables on the countertop. That screamed work. He then put the book down, pulled his phone out of his pocket and messaged Spencer that Bryan was gone and that he better get back in here.  
Tala had just finished seasoning the turkey with salt and pepper when Spencer walked in. He scanned the kitchen, then (when he'd confirmed for himself that Bryan really was gone) shut he door behind him.  
"You know you could have just called, right? The house is not that big."  
"And risk Bryan hearing the word 'chopping'? I think not."  
"Excellent point."  
"Hn. Let's c-h-o-p the onions, carrots and apples."  
"Really appreciate your effort, but I do think he can spell."  
Tala hesitated for a moment, then shrugged.  
"Yeah, probably."  
For a couple minutes the only thing audible in the kitchen was the sound was the chopping.  
Then a sniffle interrupted the silence.  
"Whoa," Spencer said when he glanced over to Tala. "Your nose is almost as red as your hair! That is _fascinating_!"  
"Shut up."  
"You remind me of someone... Red nose, red nose,… Oh yeah, of course. Rudolph!"  
"Will you shut up already?" Tala snarled and wiped his eyes with the sleeve of his shirt. "It's the fuckin onions."  
"Everybody knows you're not supposed to breathe through your nose while chopping onions," Spencer said.  
Tala glared at him.  
"Yeah, everybody who watches old-people cooking shows."  
"They've just proven themselves useful, haven't they?"  
Tala put the knife down and grabbed the fresh herbs from the kitchen counter.  
"I'm going to start seasoning that thing, because I might accidentally stab you otherwise."  
Spencer muttered something incomprehensible and resumed to chop. Tala took a deep breath and focused his attention on their dinner. He plucked the leaves of stem and simply tossed them into the turkey. Couldn't go to wrong with that, right?  
"I'm done," Spencer then said. "Should I just stuff everything in?"  
Tala just hnd.  
Spencer did and then both of them stood there and critically examined the turkey.  
"I'm not an expert on Christmas turkey, but I feel something's missing."  
Tala rolled his eyes.  
"Why don't you check the recipe then, Jamie Oliver Junior?"  
Spencer seemed to fight the urge to stick his tongue out at Tala. He managed to emerge victorious from that inner battle and picked up the cookbook.  
"Ha! _Brush with melted butter, then tent with foil and roast for two hours._ Told you." Taking one look at Tala's face he added, "Err, never mind. I'll go pop the butter in the microwave."  
Tala slightly shook his head and pulled a roll of tin foil out of a drawer by the stove. He then grabbed a spoon from the dish rack and placed both items next to the turkey. Spencer carried the bowl of melted butter over, muttering "Hot, hot, hot, hot, hot." until he got to set the bowl down next to the turkey. Spoon by spoon Tala covered the bird in butter. Together they then wrapped it in tin foil.  
"Now we just have to fit this thing in the oven somehow," Spencer said.  
Tala picked the turkey up and replied, "Don't worry, I will make it fit."  
He put the tray onto the lowest rack and shoved: it fit - even without Tala using force.  
"Alright. It's wait and see from here."  
Spencer nodded in agreement.  
"I'll set a timer."

* * *

A good three hours later Bryan burst through the kitchen door.  
"I'm fucking starved. How long till I get something to eat?"  
He dodged a fork flying his way and said, "Hey c'mon it's a reasonable question - I've been waiting for _hours_!"  
"Why don't you go sit down. We'll be out in second," Spencer said in an effort to de-escalate the situation.  
"With the bird I hope?" Noticing that Tala was about to throw some more sharp objects his way Bryan quickly added, "... Okay, okay, I'll be in the living room, gnawing on a napkin or something."  
Spencer put a hand on Tala's shoulder.  
"Deep breaths, Tala."  
"One day I'll kill him."  
"Not if Kai gets him first."  
"Don't get me started on that guy."  
Tala pulled the turkey tray out of the oven and set it down on the stove. Together with Spencer he eyed the bird. It looked a bit burned, but overall edible. Not too bad for a first try.  
"Alright, let's eat," Tala said and picked up the tray.  
Spencer grabbed the gravy and sides and together they walked into the living room where they placed everything on the big dining table. To mark the occasion they had put out (mostly) matching dishes and Spencer had found and lit a couple (mismatching) candles.  
"Oh yes! Food!" Bryan exclaimed and rubbed his hands in anticipation.  
He leaned across the table and smelled the turkey.  
"Dude... This smells like the booze old ladies drink!"  
Bryan cut a piece from the turkey and shoved it in his mouth.  
"Tastes like it, too," he managed to say through the pieces of meat.  
"Should be right up your alley then," Tala hissed.  
Spencer took a piece as well.  
"Hate to say this, but Bryan's right. What did you put in there Tala?"  
"The stuff Kai bought."  
Spencer blinked once. He blinked again. Then he started to laugh.  
"The herbs he bought for decoration? Oh boy."  
Tala's brow started to twitch. Decoration? Why didn't anyone care to tell him?  
Bryan leaned back in his chairs.  
"Argh man you totally blew it Tala."  
"Listen you-..."  
"Hey."  
All three Blitzkrieg Boys spun around to see Kai standing in the doorway, wrapped in a thick coat and with a large bag under his arm.  
"And where have you been?" Tala snarled.  
With his free hand Kai pointed at the bag.  
"Had the restaurant down the street prepare a turkey for us when I realized I bought one that wasn't gutted."  
Silence. No one had seen that one coming. Bryan was the first to move. He practically ripped the bag from Kai's grip and tore it open.  
"Now _that's_ a Christmas turkey! See, boss, that's how it's supposed to look." He inhaled. "And supposed to smell, for that matter. Nice one Kai!"  
While Spencer discretely carried the homemade version in the kitchen, Bryan unwrapped the other turkey and placed it on the table.  
Tala had to admit that this one looked and smelled a lot better than what they (he) had managed.  
"I usually hate it when you underestimate my abilities, but right now I freakin love you Kai!" he muttered.  
Kai smirked.  
Spencer came back into the room, balancing four (of course not matching) glasses filled with what could only be champagne.  
"Guys, let's toast to this." He handed each of them one glad, then raised his own. "To having a fantastic Christmas dinner with the people we love and-..."  
"Oh god, cheers!" Bryan interrupted. "This is to touchy-feely for me."  
Spencer rolled his eyes.  
"Fine. To Christmas then."  
"To Christmas," the others echoed.  
And then they dug in.

* * *

 **The End**

* * *

 **A/N** : Dear all,

nothing much to say today except: I hope you enjoyed this little piece and that you all have a holly jolly Christmas! ~Bird


End file.
